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Thursday, September 29, 2005

nEw LiFe...lObO-inG...

TiMe really FliEs! This is aLrEAdy the 3rd wEEk that I haVe left AP... Fast huh? Was really LaZy and reLAxeD for the 1st 2 wEEkS (now still very nUa) that I hAd not bEEn seNding resUMes....and eNd up nO intERviEWs. Like that hOw to gEt jObs?!?! Told mySelf that $$$ is drYing sooN, gOtta bUck up and be mOre eAger in appLying, so maNaGed to foRce mySelf to seNd soMe this wEek. FreNs haVe bEen reCommenDing jObs to Me & I tHaNk tHeM fOr tHat! HoPeFullY I wiLL wOrk and gEt pAiD wiTh whAt I wAnt sOOn.

sO, hOw haVe I bEEn spEndinG mY tiMe?
I haVe bEEn trYing tO cAtcH uP wiTh thOse FreNs whOm I'D leFt ouT whEn buSying iN AP. bEEn taNNing a lOt wiTh tHeM (nOw daRk daRk - ppLe sAy i lOOk liKe aFriCan kiD); caTchiNg mOvieS, waTchinG VCDs (cAn reaLLy sAve whEn i cOOp mYself aT hOMe) & slEEpiNg! heehee....beaUty sLeeP (but mY piMpLes aRe stiLL poPPing liKe nO nEEd $$$ leh! tOt sLeeP iS beaUty bEcauSe cAn cLeaR aLL thAt? b*llsH*t?). I tHinK I aM a MJ freaK. YeaH.... liMiTed reSourCes liaO, stiLL cAn plAy...SiGh...
cOOking? neH...tOO teDious liAo...wAiTiNg fOr a kiNd soUL tO dO thAt. AnY taKerS?

Friday, September 09, 2005

LasT dAy

Today is my last day with the company... A bit at a loss of how to react....Will I cry later? Mixed feelings.....Sigh.......People are good, environment not that bad, then why the hell am I still leaving??!! Just feel that it's time to move on (to dunno where) and get out ba....Feel injustified maybe?
4 years+.......say long, not long; say short, not short......how could I be so firm to insist in leaving? I haven found a job....No huge savings to last me to idle....I have nothing....
Please lead me a way....

Monday, August 29, 2005

CONFIDENCE is .....

Thursday, August 18, 2005

mOving oN . . . . .

It's time to move on from where I am.... Learnt quite a lot these 4 years plus.....BUT, guess I just feel that it's no longer worth "slogging" any further. All efforts being denied of so easily....and no one defended me. So HURTing... If I had really not done well, please don't bother to keep me. Spare me your "maganimous", please. You will be able to find someone easily because who can be worse than one who don't do well? Definitely not those who know how to PR with the "important" people.

Efficient, hardworking people are always penalized - taken for granted. Those whom always slack will be viewed as normal since they have been this way all the while. Expectations low. Important/ Urgent tasks will not be handed to the latter. "Only babies who cry will get the milk" - this is very true lor... Quietly doing the tough tasks won't beat bragging/ complaining the simple tasks being assigned. Anyway, nothing beats the POWER of PR.

I don't blame anyone. It's my own decision. I am not those type whom will go around demoralising people, so PLEASE don't let me hear of me going to affect people's morale lar, me ingrateful lar....whatever.....

I'LL Be FiRm....Be sTronG.....

Friday, July 29, 2005

For those who dont read the papers....
there is this article which is quite true:
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When Mr Right comes at the wrong time. Timing is everything, even in love. And when you are not ready to commit, you could end up regretting it
By Janice Wong

SOMETIMES, timing rather than love decides who we end up being with - or without.
Only some lucky people marry the loves of their lives. The rest marry the most suitable person who comes along when they are ready to settle down.

A friend in his 20s came to this conclusion after confiding in me that he had recently met a woman who is more attractive than his wife, and so occupies his thoughts more often than his wife does.
'If only I had met her before I got married,' he said wistfully.
But I think even if the love of one's life appears when one is single, one may not be in the right frame of mind to recognise him or her as such.

And then love passes by.

Life is littered with near misses and lost opportunities.

I attended my ex-boyfriend's wedding last month, which triggered many memories.
We met five years ago when I was 23 and he 31. It was love at first sight.
He had an established career, was down-to-earth and steadfastly religious.
I was then working as an air stewardess and my head was - literally and metaphorically - in the clouds.
I was also - well, let's put it this way - not religious.
Despite our differences, we were soulmates. We had the same quirky sense of humour and shared long, intense overnight conversations.
But human nature is perverse. When someone is excessively nice to us, we start taking things for granted, instead of appreciating them even more.
My ex sent me to the airport, fixed my PC, reminded me to take health supplements - and go to church.
He had everything I could want in a husband - except that I was not looking for one. A boyfriend was all I could cope with then.
I loved fast cars, danced wildly at Zouk and took off on shopping holidays at a whim. My life revolved around I, me and myself.
In the six months that we were together, he popped the question several times and talked ad nauseam about having children. He wanted us to enrol for a Christian marriage preparation course.
Yes, I did often fantasise about a Vera Wang wedding gown, but I was at that stage of my life when I was more interested in Guess than Baby Guess.
And where - dare I admit it? - I still wanted to meet other men.
So I was a 23-year-old with the emotional maturity of a 13-year-old. Responsibility? Wasn't that for adults?
In short, I met Mr Right at the wrong time.
The more he talked about marriage and religion, the more I felt pressured and the more pressured I felt, the more irritable I became.
I was too impatient to compromise. Every trivial matter blew up as a big deal. My mood obliterated the good in our relationship and reached a point where I just wanted out.
He was heartbroken; I was sad but relieved. He still called me regularly, beseeching me to change my mind.
The calls stopped finally after a year. Now and then, we say 'Hi' via e-mail.
I had a few painful relationships after that. Served me right, as those rude wake-up calls were necessary for me to realise the meaninglessness of my hedonistic high life.
I missed the tenderness of my ex and began having second thoughts.
Perhaps I also felt more urgency to find someone marriageable before my biological clock reached zero hour. It dawned on me that I am not a pixie like Peter Pan who can flit around forever. One day, I'd wake up sick and alone when my fair weather friends flit away.
But I was too proud and too unsure of my ex's reaction to call him until last year.
The first thing he told me excitedly was that he had found The One. My heart tumbled to my feet. So, that's Fate.
If only I could turn back time. If only I had met him later. If only... what feeble words.
These days, I am more circumspect. I have come to terms with my loss. There is nothing I can do about timing, but I can do everything about my choices.
Sometimes, when the nights get lonely, I toy with the idea of marrying a platonic friend of mine, who often assures me earnestly that, if the worst comes to the worst, he'd be willing to marry me.
But I always dismiss that. I have already made one mistake. I should not make another by settling for second best merely for the sake of getting hitched - only to regret it soon after, as the guy who confided in me did.
Hopefully, the best is not over but yet to be.