Wednesday, December 20, 2006
Thursday, December 07, 2006
Sunday, November 26, 2006
I am an 阿姨 liao!
My sis gave birth liao! I am officially an Ah Yi now!
Weighing at 2.865kg, this little baby came to our world on 26th November 2006, 1139hours, about 2 weeks earlier than "forecasted". Sis was ferried to hospital at about 7plus in the morning, after having contractual pains since 3plus. She still wanna have Mac bfast at 6plus! Thank goodness her parents-in-law din let her have the chance. (She still can dilly-dally huh...)
Went to Mount Avernia Ward 358B in the afternoon to visit the family of 3. Baby was already in the arms of the still-in-pain mummy! Baby is soooo cute and little!
Weighing at 2.865kg, this little baby came to our world on 26th November 2006, 1139hours, about 2 weeks earlier than "forecasted". Sis was ferried to hospital at about 7plus in the morning, after having contractual pains since 3plus. She still wanna have Mac bfast at 6plus! Thank goodness her parents-in-law din let her have the chance. (She still can dilly-dally huh...)
Went to Mount Avernia Ward 358B in the afternoon to visit the family of 3. Baby was already in the arms of the still-in-pain mummy! Baby is soooo cute and little!
Friday, November 24, 2006
Nuisance
Every often, I will question myself about what exactly do I want.... Till now, I am still lost. Maybe "Alice" should come and find me in her wonderland and bring me light to the way out of her world.
Been having real frequent headaches these days. Especially on the left side. Almost every day or every other day. The migraine medi that doc gave and the panadol extras dun work on me anymore.... DIE! Wanna bang my head on the walls and smash it liao... Wondering if I have brain tumors liao.... IF really diagnosed to be positive, dunno if I will undergo treatments hor... Maybe just let it be? LIVE TO DIE....
There are getting more cases of healthy people dying in their sleep. They have no illnesses, have no bad habits like drinking and smoking, have been eating healthily and been exercising regularly. But they died just like that. ALAS! It's really all fated and destined. Nothing you do or dun do is going to change that.
Since life is so unpredictable, I am back to thinking if one should just live for that moment. Just enjoy every moment as it is? Then, how can one enjoy oneself to the fullest leh? Looking at friends around me, especially PB; it's like they can really truly be happy. Do whatever they like, whatever they want. Have meanings in their lives. Why can't I? PB and BB told me that it's bec I chose to have the hard way out... I din deliberately chose the hard way, but, probably I did. Maybe it's just me. Have the widest restrictions based on principles and beliefs and emotions?
What kind of person am I.... I wonder....
Am I happy? I think not... Although most of the times, I may appear to be. Can I be happy? I dunno... One of my friends then asked me, why do I need to wear a mask? I don't see myself as wearing a mask lor, just that I will naturally display my so-called happiness more when I am actually feeling blue inside. Maybe so that I can don't have people asking me why? I dunno why actually. Anyway, when I am not talking, it doesn't necessarily mean that I am unhappy/moody/got problems. I am just enjoying my silence. :) Especially now that I have severe headaches most of the times, I just dun feel like opening my mouth. (going to have bad breath liao. EEeeks!)
I think I am still better in expressing myself through writing. Dun really like talking. Hahahaha...
For my friends who are reading this blog and are worried about me, don't be! I am fine! Really! Just penning some of my thoughts. Don't ask me about it too, as I won't feel like talking about it.
CHEERS! ;)
Been having real frequent headaches these days. Especially on the left side. Almost every day or every other day. The migraine medi that doc gave and the panadol extras dun work on me anymore.... DIE! Wanna bang my head on the walls and smash it liao... Wondering if I have brain tumors liao.... IF really diagnosed to be positive, dunno if I will undergo treatments hor... Maybe just let it be? LIVE TO DIE....
There are getting more cases of healthy people dying in their sleep. They have no illnesses, have no bad habits like drinking and smoking, have been eating healthily and been exercising regularly. But they died just like that. ALAS! It's really all fated and destined. Nothing you do or dun do is going to change that.
Since life is so unpredictable, I am back to thinking if one should just live for that moment. Just enjoy every moment as it is? Then, how can one enjoy oneself to the fullest leh? Looking at friends around me, especially PB; it's like they can really truly be happy. Do whatever they like, whatever they want. Have meanings in their lives. Why can't I? PB and BB told me that it's bec I chose to have the hard way out... I din deliberately chose the hard way, but, probably I did. Maybe it's just me. Have the widest restrictions based on principles and beliefs and emotions?
What kind of person am I.... I wonder....
Am I happy? I think not... Although most of the times, I may appear to be. Can I be happy? I dunno... One of my friends then asked me, why do I need to wear a mask? I don't see myself as wearing a mask lor, just that I will naturally display my so-called happiness more when I am actually feeling blue inside. Maybe so that I can don't have people asking me why? I dunno why actually. Anyway, when I am not talking, it doesn't necessarily mean that I am unhappy/moody/got problems. I am just enjoying my silence. :) Especially now that I have severe headaches most of the times, I just dun feel like opening my mouth. (going to have bad breath liao. EEeeks!)
I think I am still better in expressing myself through writing. Dun really like talking. Hahahaha...
For my friends who are reading this blog and are worried about me, don't be! I am fine! Really! Just penning some of my thoughts. Don't ask me about it too, as I won't feel like talking about it.
CHEERS! ;)
Wednesday, November 22, 2006
Long-time Friend
Cute photo hor... Make a guess! Girl or boy? Is a HE la... Hahahaha.... Wonder why his parents will tie his hair up like a girl and take a pic. Maybe they had wanted a girl initially? ;)Met up with him to show him this photo for use in his wedding. (have not meet up for about 6,7,8 years?) He wanted to keep this photo, but I refused, because it's just too cute! And furthermore, he had given it to me when he penned in my autograph book wat. So, it's already mine! Decided to scan it in for him to use instead. *bleh* :p
Went for dinner and chill out at Alley Bar in town. Did some catching up and re-capping of our secondary school days.... He told me I was an ice cold girl during then. Seldom talk, don't open up; shutting people away maybe? Luckily I haven't been nasty. He was an anti-social (he din felt so) and quiet too during then. We seldom communicate with each other. Then how did we get to know each other and go out?? Haahaa.... Will be a mystery. By the way, I like his nose! Very very nice! Cut it off and fix it on me? wahahaha...
Really glad to have been able to meet up with him. (have been arranging for months liao! haahaa... but I always "put aeroplanes") Relive some of those old school days memories... Maybe I should start to meet more of my long-lost friends? See how la.... LAZY BUM. HAHAHAHA....
Wednesday, November 08, 2006
GaVe Up WiTHouT TrYinG
I was saying I got qualified for the draw to enter the WRX Challenge right...Well, after much consideration, I decided not to go at all...LOL
Was celebrating bday for one of my ex-colleagues the previous night, and had to miss all the after-programs so that I can have enough sleep for the next day's challenge. But alas! Had "stomache" when back home. It was painful... Thus, decided to give up going even without trying; as I was thinking, even if I got picked, I would not have the stamina to pull through to the end, having done no preparation work at all. Thank goodness I din go! Was having severe headache on sat! To the extent that no medication could help take the pain away... Like what it usually could. And the pain though subsided, is still here...Maybe brain dirty... Maybe some incurable disease... I am going to die soon!!!
Winner for this year's WRX Challenge goes to a 25 yr old Navy guy, who lasted for 73hrs 56min 21sec! That's slightly more than 3 days! But the highest record is still made in 2004, with 74hrs 59min. Poor thing for the 2nd longest-standing guy! The longest standing gal goes to a 31 yr old staff nurse - the only female in the top 20 list.
Wonder how they could go without sleep for so long. For me, having to lose sleep for just a day due to my mj session, can already leave me tired-till-dunno-wat the next night! Practically ZOMBIE! Simply wanna just head for the bed! Not to say 3 nights??! And cannot do anything during the challenge too! Won't be boring meh... So, dunno considered as blessing or not, that I got stomache on the night before. At least I won't feel so "yuan wang"? Especially since it has always been a guy being the winner for this challenge. A way for consoling myself la... But then, if I were to enter the challenge, I might break the record leh? Wahaahaahaa.... Dream on....
I was saying I got qualified for the draw to enter the WRX Challenge right...Well, after much consideration, I decided not to go at all...LOL
Was celebrating bday for one of my ex-colleagues the previous night, and had to miss all the after-programs so that I can have enough sleep for the next day's challenge. But alas! Had "stomache" when back home. It was painful... Thus, decided to give up going even without trying; as I was thinking, even if I got picked, I would not have the stamina to pull through to the end, having done no preparation work at all. Thank goodness I din go! Was having severe headache on sat! To the extent that no medication could help take the pain away... Like what it usually could. And the pain though subsided, is still here...Maybe brain dirty... Maybe some incurable disease... I am going to die soon!!!
Winner for this year's WRX Challenge goes to a 25 yr old Navy guy, who lasted for 73hrs 56min 21sec! That's slightly more than 3 days! But the highest record is still made in 2004, with 74hrs 59min. Poor thing for the 2nd longest-standing guy! The longest standing gal goes to a 31 yr old staff nurse - the only female in the top 20 list.
Wonder how they could go without sleep for so long. For me, having to lose sleep for just a day due to my mj session, can already leave me tired-till-dunno-wat the next night! Practically ZOMBIE! Simply wanna just head for the bed! Not to say 3 nights??! And cannot do anything during the challenge too! Won't be boring meh... So, dunno considered as blessing or not, that I got stomache on the night before. At least I won't feel so "yuan wang"? Especially since it has always been a guy being the winner for this challenge. A way for consoling myself la... But then, if I were to enter the challenge, I might break the record leh? Wahaahaahaa.... Dream on....
Monday, October 30, 2006
SUBARU WRX CHALLENGE 2006
Was listening to the Class95 one of the many usual nights before sleep. Heard the call out for listeners to to be the 5th and 9th callers to get a chance to participate in the WRX Challenge. So, I thought, maybe can just try to call in for fun, and alas! I got through and is the 5th caller! I have never been so lucky before, you see...
However, this call in is only the entry to the lucky draw to particiapte in the Challenge. They will be picking out 280 contestants out of the dunno-how-many callers to enter in the Challenge on the day itself - 4th November 2006. Wonder if I will be lucky again.
For those selected through the Draw, they will be assigned to a car. All the contestants will have to place their right hands on their assigned car and keep it there till only one contestant is left.
Contestants are entitled to a 5min break once every six hours. The winning contestant to the Challenge walks aways with 1 Subaru Impreza WRX 2.5L valued at $80,000 (without COE).
Was listening to the Class95 one of the many usual nights before sleep. Heard the call out for listeners to to be the 5th and 9th callers to get a chance to participate in the WRX Challenge. So, I thought, maybe can just try to call in for fun, and alas! I got through and is the 5th caller! I have never been so lucky before, you see...
However, this call in is only the entry to the lucky draw to particiapte in the Challenge. They will be picking out 280 contestants out of the dunno-how-many callers to enter in the Challenge on the day itself - 4th November 2006. Wonder if I will be lucky again.
For those selected through the Draw, they will be assigned to a car. All the contestants will have to place their right hands on their assigned car and keep it there till only one contestant is left.
Contestants are entitled to a 5min break once every six hours. The winning contestant to the Challenge walks aways with 1 Subaru Impreza WRX 2.5L valued at $80,000 (without COE).
Thursday, October 12, 2006
When You Divorce Me, Carry Me Out in Your Arms
Found this from my friend's blog. Meaningful...spare 15 mins and read on....
[ On my wedding day, I carried my wife in my arms. The bridal car stopped in front of our one-room flat. My buddies insisted that I carry her out of the car in my arms. So I carried her into our home. She was then plump and shy.I was a strong and happy bridegroom. This was the scene of ten years ago.The following days were as simple as a cup of pure water: we had a kid, I went into business and tried to make more money. When the assets were steadily increasing, the affections between us seemed to ebb. She was a civil servant. Every morning we left home together and got home almost at the same time. Our kid was studying in a boarding school. Our marriage life seemed to be enviably happy. But the calm life was more likely to be affected by unpredictable changes. Dew came into my life.
It was a sunny day. I stood on a spacious balcony. Dew hugged me from behind. My heart once again was immersed in her stream of love. This was the apartment I bought for her. Dew said, ¨You are the kind of man who best draws girls' eyeballs. Her words suddenly reminded me of my wife. When we just married, my wife said, ¨Men like you, once successful, will be very attractive to girls. Thinking of this, I became somewhat hesitant. I knew I had betrayed my wife. But I couldn't help doing so. I moved Dew's hands aside and said, ¨You go select some furniture, ok? I've got something to do in the company. Obviously she was unhappy, because I had promised to go and see with her. At the moment, the idea of divorce became clearer in my mind although it used to be something impossible to me. However, I found it rather difficult to tell my wife about it. No matter how mildly I mentioned it to her, she would be deeply hurt. Honestly, she was a good wife. Every evening she was busy preparing dinner. I was sitting in front of the TV. The dinner was ready soon. Then we watched TV together. Or, I was lounging before the computer, visualizing Dewˇs body. This was the means of my entertainment.
One day I said to her in a slight joking way, ¨Suppose we divorce, what will you do? She stared at me for a few seconds without a word. Apparently she believed that divorce was something too far away from her. I couldn't imagine how she would react once she got to know I was serious. When my wife went to my office, Dew had just stepped out. Almost all the staff looked at my wife with a sympathetic eye and tried to hide something while talking with her. She seemed to have got some hint. She gently smiled at my subordinates. But I read some hurt in her eyes.
Once again, Dew said to me, "He Ning, divorce her, ok? Then we live together." I nodded. I knew I could not hesitate any more. When my wife served the last dish, I held her hand. "I've something to tell you", I said. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes. Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want to divorce. I raised a serious topic calmly. She didn't seem to be much annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, "Why?". "I'm serious", I avoided her question. This so-called answer turned her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, "You're not a man!"
That night, we didn't talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer, because my heart had gone to Dew. With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company. She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. I felt a pain in my heart. The woman who had been living ten years with me would become a stranger one day. But I could not take back what I had said. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me, her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer.
A late night, I came back home after entertaining my clients. I saw her writing something at the table. I fell asleep fast. When I woke up, she was still there. I turned over and fell asleep again. She brought up her divorce conditions: she didn't want anything from me, but I was supposed to give her one month's time before divorce, and in the month, we must live as normal life as possible. Her reason was simple: our son would finish his summer vacation a month later and she didn't want him to see our marriage broken. She passed me the agreement she drafted, and then asked me, "He Ning, do you still remember how I entered our bridal room on the wedding day?" This question suddenly brought back all those wonderful memories to me. I nodded and said, I remember. "You carried me in your arms", she continued, "So, I have a requirement, that is, you carry me out in your arms on the day when we divorce. From now to the end of this month, you must carry me out from the bedroom to the door every morning." I accepted with a smile. I knew she missed those sweet days and wished to end her marriage with a romantic form.
I told Dew about my wife's divorce conditions. She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. "No matter what tricks she does, she has to face the result of divorce", she said scornfully. Her words more or less made me feel uncomfortable.
My wife and I haven't had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. We even treated each other as a stranger. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, "Daddy is holding mummy in his arms." His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over 10m with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly, "Let us start from today, don't tell our son." I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for bus, I drove to office.
On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. We were so close that I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I haven't looked at this intimate woman carefully for a long time. I found that she was not young any more. There were some fine wrinkles on her face. On the third day, she whispered to me, "The outside garden is being demolished. Be careful when you pass there." On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I seemed to feel that we were still an intimate couple and I was holding my sweetheart in my arms. The visualization of Dew became vaguer. On the fifth and sixth day, she kept reminding me something, such as, where she put the ironed shirts, I should be careful while cooking, etc. I nodded. The sense of intimacy was even stronger. I didn't tell Dew about this. I felt it was easier to carry her. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger. I said to her, It seems not difficult to carry you now.
She was picking her dresses. I was waiting to carry her out. She tried quite a few but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, "All my dresses have grown fatter." I smiled. But I suddenly realized that it was because she was thinner that I could carry her more easily, not because I was stronger. I knew she had buried all the bitterness in her heart. Again, I felt a sense of pain. Subconsciously I reached out a hand to touch her head. Our son came in at the moment. "Dad, it s time to carry mum out", he said. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had been an essential part of his life. She gestured our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face because I was afraid I would change my mind at the last minute. I held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly, as if we came back to our wedding day. But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. She said, "Actually I hope you will hold me in your arms until we are old." I held her tightly and said, "Both you and I didn't notice that our life was lack of such intimacy."
I jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my decision. I walked upstairs. Dew opened the door. I said to her, "Sorry, Dew, I won't divorce. I'm serious." She looked at me, astonished. Then she touched my forehead. "You got no fever", she said. I moved her hand off my head. "Sorry, Dew", I said, "I can only say sorry to you, I won't divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn't value the details of life, not because we didn't love each other any more. Now I understand that, since I carried her into the home, she gave birth to our child, I am supposed to hold her until I am old. So I have to say sorry to you." Dew seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into cries. I walked downstairs and drove to the office. When I passed the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet for my wife which was her favourite. The florist asked me to write the greeting words on the card. I smiled and wrote: I'll carry you out every morning until we are old. ]
Found this from my friend's blog. Meaningful...spare 15 mins and read on....
[ On my wedding day, I carried my wife in my arms. The bridal car stopped in front of our one-room flat. My buddies insisted that I carry her out of the car in my arms. So I carried her into our home. She was then plump and shy.I was a strong and happy bridegroom. This was the scene of ten years ago.The following days were as simple as a cup of pure water: we had a kid, I went into business and tried to make more money. When the assets were steadily increasing, the affections between us seemed to ebb. She was a civil servant. Every morning we left home together and got home almost at the same time. Our kid was studying in a boarding school. Our marriage life seemed to be enviably happy. But the calm life was more likely to be affected by unpredictable changes. Dew came into my life.
It was a sunny day. I stood on a spacious balcony. Dew hugged me from behind. My heart once again was immersed in her stream of love. This was the apartment I bought for her. Dew said, ¨You are the kind of man who best draws girls' eyeballs. Her words suddenly reminded me of my wife. When we just married, my wife said, ¨Men like you, once successful, will be very attractive to girls. Thinking of this, I became somewhat hesitant. I knew I had betrayed my wife. But I couldn't help doing so. I moved Dew's hands aside and said, ¨You go select some furniture, ok? I've got something to do in the company. Obviously she was unhappy, because I had promised to go and see with her. At the moment, the idea of divorce became clearer in my mind although it used to be something impossible to me. However, I found it rather difficult to tell my wife about it. No matter how mildly I mentioned it to her, she would be deeply hurt. Honestly, she was a good wife. Every evening she was busy preparing dinner. I was sitting in front of the TV. The dinner was ready soon. Then we watched TV together. Or, I was lounging before the computer, visualizing Dewˇs body. This was the means of my entertainment.
One day I said to her in a slight joking way, ¨Suppose we divorce, what will you do? She stared at me for a few seconds without a word. Apparently she believed that divorce was something too far away from her. I couldn't imagine how she would react once she got to know I was serious. When my wife went to my office, Dew had just stepped out. Almost all the staff looked at my wife with a sympathetic eye and tried to hide something while talking with her. She seemed to have got some hint. She gently smiled at my subordinates. But I read some hurt in her eyes.
Once again, Dew said to me, "He Ning, divorce her, ok? Then we live together." I nodded. I knew I could not hesitate any more. When my wife served the last dish, I held her hand. "I've something to tell you", I said. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes. Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want to divorce. I raised a serious topic calmly. She didn't seem to be much annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, "Why?". "I'm serious", I avoided her question. This so-called answer turned her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, "You're not a man!"
That night, we didn't talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer, because my heart had gone to Dew. With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company. She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. I felt a pain in my heart. The woman who had been living ten years with me would become a stranger one day. But I could not take back what I had said. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me, her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer.
A late night, I came back home after entertaining my clients. I saw her writing something at the table. I fell asleep fast. When I woke up, she was still there. I turned over and fell asleep again. She brought up her divorce conditions: she didn't want anything from me, but I was supposed to give her one month's time before divorce, and in the month, we must live as normal life as possible. Her reason was simple: our son would finish his summer vacation a month later and she didn't want him to see our marriage broken. She passed me the agreement she drafted, and then asked me, "He Ning, do you still remember how I entered our bridal room on the wedding day?" This question suddenly brought back all those wonderful memories to me. I nodded and said, I remember. "You carried me in your arms", she continued, "So, I have a requirement, that is, you carry me out in your arms on the day when we divorce. From now to the end of this month, you must carry me out from the bedroom to the door every morning." I accepted with a smile. I knew she missed those sweet days and wished to end her marriage with a romantic form.
I told Dew about my wife's divorce conditions. She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. "No matter what tricks she does, she has to face the result of divorce", she said scornfully. Her words more or less made me feel uncomfortable.
My wife and I haven't had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. We even treated each other as a stranger. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, "Daddy is holding mummy in his arms." His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over 10m with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly, "Let us start from today, don't tell our son." I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for bus, I drove to office.
On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. We were so close that I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I haven't looked at this intimate woman carefully for a long time. I found that she was not young any more. There were some fine wrinkles on her face. On the third day, she whispered to me, "The outside garden is being demolished. Be careful when you pass there." On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I seemed to feel that we were still an intimate couple and I was holding my sweetheart in my arms. The visualization of Dew became vaguer. On the fifth and sixth day, she kept reminding me something, such as, where she put the ironed shirts, I should be careful while cooking, etc. I nodded. The sense of intimacy was even stronger. I didn't tell Dew about this. I felt it was easier to carry her. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger. I said to her, It seems not difficult to carry you now.
She was picking her dresses. I was waiting to carry her out. She tried quite a few but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, "All my dresses have grown fatter." I smiled. But I suddenly realized that it was because she was thinner that I could carry her more easily, not because I was stronger. I knew she had buried all the bitterness in her heart. Again, I felt a sense of pain. Subconsciously I reached out a hand to touch her head. Our son came in at the moment. "Dad, it s time to carry mum out", he said. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had been an essential part of his life. She gestured our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face because I was afraid I would change my mind at the last minute. I held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly, as if we came back to our wedding day. But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. She said, "Actually I hope you will hold me in your arms until we are old." I held her tightly and said, "Both you and I didn't notice that our life was lack of such intimacy."
I jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my decision. I walked upstairs. Dew opened the door. I said to her, "Sorry, Dew, I won't divorce. I'm serious." She looked at me, astonished. Then she touched my forehead. "You got no fever", she said. I moved her hand off my head. "Sorry, Dew", I said, "I can only say sorry to you, I won't divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn't value the details of life, not because we didn't love each other any more. Now I understand that, since I carried her into the home, she gave birth to our child, I am supposed to hold her until I am old. So I have to say sorry to you." Dew seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into cries. I walked downstairs and drove to the office. When I passed the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet for my wife which was her favourite. The florist asked me to write the greeting words on the card. I smiled and wrote: I'll carry you out every morning until we are old. ]
Tuesday, September 12, 2006
DeScenDanTs of the CanCers
It's been some time since I last wrote a blog. Was msn-ing my friend yesterday and she was saying that I can write anything, even if it is not related to me. Just whether readers will be bored or not, as readers are more curious about your happening. Very true.
Anyway, I decided to search the web for information on tongue cancer and brain tumors to put in this piece of blog.
What is tongue cancer?
There are two parts to your tongue, the oral tongue and the base of the tongue. Cancer can develop in either part. The oral tongue is the part you see when you ‘poke your tongue out’ at someone. This is the front two thirds of your tongue. Cancers that develop in this part of the tongue come under a group of cancers called mouth (oral) cancer. The base of the tongue is the back third of the tongue. This part is very near your throat (pharynx). Cancers that develop in this part are called oropharyngeal cancers (pronounced oar-o-farin-gee-al). ~ Think she got it at the base of the tongue?
Types of tongue cancer
The most common type of tongue cancer is squamous cell carcinoma (SCCA). Squamous cells are the flat, skin-like cells that cover the lining of the mouth, nose, larynx, thyroid and throat. Squamous cell carcinoma is the name given to a cancer that starts in these cells.
Symptoms
The symptoms of tongue cancer may include:
· A red or white patch on the tongue, that will not go away
· A sore throat that does not go away
· A sore spot on the tongue that does not go away
· Pain when swallowing
· Numbness in the mouth that will not go away
· Unexplained bleeding from the tongue (that is, not caused by biting your tongue or other injury)
· Pain in the ear (rare)
Causes
We don’t know the exact causes of most head and neck cancers, but several risk factors have been identified. Smoking tobacco (cigarettes, cigars and pipes) and drinking a lot of alcohol are the main risk factors for cancers of the head and neck in the western world. Chewing tobacco or betal quid with tobacco is very common in parts of Asia and is known to be a main cause of mouth (including tongue), gullet (oesophageal) and throat (pharyngeal) cancers in these countries. Other definite risk factors include:
- Poor diet
- Having a weakened immune system
- Being exposed to some chemicals
· Viruses
· Acid reflux
- Sunlight
Treatment
As with many types of cancer, diagnosing your cancer early means it will be easier to control and possibly cure it. ~ Haahaahaa...
Treating tongue cancer will depend on the size of the cancer and whether or not it has spread to the lymph nodes in your neck. You may have:
· Surgery
· Radiotherapy
· Chemotherapy
You may have one of these or a combination of treatments. The best treatment for very small tongue cancers is surgery. For larger tumours that have spread to the lymph nodes in the neck, you will most likely have a combination of surgery and radiotheraphy. This means having an operation to remove the cancer from your tongue and the lymph nodes in your neck. You may need to have all the nodes on one or both sides of your neck removed. You may hear your doctor call this operation a radical neck dissection. It lowers the risk of your cancer coming back in the future. You will then have a course of radiotherapy to help get rid of any cancer cells left behind.If your cancer has grown so big that it affects most of your tongue, you may need to have an operation to remove your tongue (glossectomy). This is a big operation and many doctors may suggest that you first try radiotherapy and chemotherapy to shrink the cancer. If this works, you may not need such major surgery.If you do have this operation, it will permanently change your ability to speak and swallow. It will also affect the way you look. This is very hard to cope with and you are likely to need a lot of support and help following your operation. ~ She went for minor surgery and radiotherapy with 95% recovery. Got a relapse within a year (talking about recovery!) and got to remove half her tongue and whole of left nodes removed and radiotherapy again for fear of spreading. Got great difficulty speaking, eating and even drinking after that! Still didn't make it after going through so much agony. Is there any point in undergoing treatments?
---------------------------------------------
Facts about Brain Tumors
Metastatic brain tumors, cancer that spreads from other parts of the body to the brain, are the most common types of brain tumors. They occur in 10-15% of people with cancer. Primary brain tumors generally do not metastasize to other parts of the body. ~ Well, he got the latter uncommon one. Got 2 somemore.
There are over 120 different types of brain tumors, which make effective treatment complicated. They can be malignant or non-malignant (benign), and in either case, can be just as injurious or life threatening. At present, the standard treatments for brain tumors include surgery, radiation therapy, and chemotherapy. These may be used either individually or in combination. ~ Malignant and is recommended to go for the chemotherapy before deciding if have to go for the radiation therapy (which might cause brain damage and/or mental problems).
There are currently no known causes of brain tumors, however, epidemiological studies are ongoing. Complete and accurate data on all primary brain tumors is needed to provide the foundation for investigations of its causes and research leading to improved diagnosis and treatment. ~ Ya lor, doctors have been unable to say the cause of it and is saying he might be just plain unlucky. Hahaha... Funny that the word "unlucky" came out from them.
Brain tumors have no socio-economic boundaries and do not discriminate among gender or ethnicity.
The cure rate for most brain tumors is significantly lower than that for many other types of cancer. ~ Approximately 3years if undergo successful treatments. Estimated 8 sessions. Half to a year if untreated.
Grade - benign or malignant?
Brain tumours are put into groups according to how fast they are likely to grow. There are 4 groups called grades 1-4. The cells are examined under a microscope. The more normal they look, the more slowly the brain tumour is likely to develop and the lower the grade. The more abnormal the cells look, the more quickly the brain tumour is likely to grow and the higher the grade. Low grade gliomas (grade 1 and grade 2) are the slowest growing brain tumours. You may have been told you have a benign tumour or a malignant tumour. As a rule of thumb, low grade tumours are regarded as benign and high grade as malignant.
By benign, we generally mean
· The tumour is relatively slow growing
· It is less likely to come back if it is completely removed
· It is not likely to spread to other parts of the brain or spinal cord
· It may just need surgery and not radiotherapy or chemotherapy as well
By malignant, we generally mean
· The tumour is relatively fast growing
· It is likely to come back after surgery, even if completely removed
· It may spread to other parts of the brain or spinal cord
· It cannot just be treated with surgery and will need radiotherapy or chemotherapy to try to stop it from coming back.
With other types of cancer, these black and white explanations of benign and malignant work well. But with brain tumours, there are a lot of grey areas.
Wow... this is a very long blog....
It's been some time since I last wrote a blog. Was msn-ing my friend yesterday and she was saying that I can write anything, even if it is not related to me. Just whether readers will be bored or not, as readers are more curious about your happening. Very true.
Anyway, I decided to search the web for information on tongue cancer and brain tumors to put in this piece of blog.
What is tongue cancer?
There are two parts to your tongue, the oral tongue and the base of the tongue. Cancer can develop in either part. The oral tongue is the part you see when you ‘poke your tongue out’ at someone. This is the front two thirds of your tongue. Cancers that develop in this part of the tongue come under a group of cancers called mouth (oral) cancer. The base of the tongue is the back third of the tongue. This part is very near your throat (pharynx). Cancers that develop in this part are called oropharyngeal cancers (pronounced oar-o-farin-gee-al). ~ Think she got it at the base of the tongue?
Types of tongue cancer
The most common type of tongue cancer is squamous cell carcinoma (SCCA). Squamous cells are the flat, skin-like cells that cover the lining of the mouth, nose, larynx, thyroid and throat. Squamous cell carcinoma is the name given to a cancer that starts in these cells.
Symptoms
The symptoms of tongue cancer may include:
· A red or white patch on the tongue, that will not go away
· A sore throat that does not go away
· A sore spot on the tongue that does not go away
· Pain when swallowing
· Numbness in the mouth that will not go away
· Unexplained bleeding from the tongue (that is, not caused by biting your tongue or other injury)
· Pain in the ear (rare)
Causes
We don’t know the exact causes of most head and neck cancers, but several risk factors have been identified. Smoking tobacco (cigarettes, cigars and pipes) and drinking a lot of alcohol are the main risk factors for cancers of the head and neck in the western world. Chewing tobacco or betal quid with tobacco is very common in parts of Asia and is known to be a main cause of mouth (including tongue), gullet (oesophageal) and throat (pharyngeal) cancers in these countries. Other definite risk factors include:
- Poor diet
- Having a weakened immune system
- Being exposed to some chemicals
· Viruses
· Acid reflux
- Sunlight
Treatment
As with many types of cancer, diagnosing your cancer early means it will be easier to control and possibly cure it. ~ Haahaahaa...
Treating tongue cancer will depend on the size of the cancer and whether or not it has spread to the lymph nodes in your neck. You may have:
· Surgery
· Radiotherapy
· Chemotherapy
You may have one of these or a combination of treatments. The best treatment for very small tongue cancers is surgery. For larger tumours that have spread to the lymph nodes in the neck, you will most likely have a combination of surgery and radiotheraphy. This means having an operation to remove the cancer from your tongue and the lymph nodes in your neck. You may need to have all the nodes on one or both sides of your neck removed. You may hear your doctor call this operation a radical neck dissection. It lowers the risk of your cancer coming back in the future. You will then have a course of radiotherapy to help get rid of any cancer cells left behind.If your cancer has grown so big that it affects most of your tongue, you may need to have an operation to remove your tongue (glossectomy). This is a big operation and many doctors may suggest that you first try radiotherapy and chemotherapy to shrink the cancer. If this works, you may not need such major surgery.If you do have this operation, it will permanently change your ability to speak and swallow. It will also affect the way you look. This is very hard to cope with and you are likely to need a lot of support and help following your operation. ~ She went for minor surgery and radiotherapy with 95% recovery. Got a relapse within a year (talking about recovery!) and got to remove half her tongue and whole of left nodes removed and radiotherapy again for fear of spreading. Got great difficulty speaking, eating and even drinking after that! Still didn't make it after going through so much agony. Is there any point in undergoing treatments?
---------------------------------------------
Facts about Brain Tumors
Metastatic brain tumors, cancer that spreads from other parts of the body to the brain, are the most common types of brain tumors. They occur in 10-15% of people with cancer. Primary brain tumors generally do not metastasize to other parts of the body. ~ Well, he got the latter uncommon one. Got 2 somemore.
There are over 120 different types of brain tumors, which make effective treatment complicated. They can be malignant or non-malignant (benign), and in either case, can be just as injurious or life threatening. At present, the standard treatments for brain tumors include surgery, radiation therapy, and chemotherapy. These may be used either individually or in combination. ~ Malignant and is recommended to go for the chemotherapy before deciding if have to go for the radiation therapy (which might cause brain damage and/or mental problems).
There are currently no known causes of brain tumors, however, epidemiological studies are ongoing. Complete and accurate data on all primary brain tumors is needed to provide the foundation for investigations of its causes and research leading to improved diagnosis and treatment. ~ Ya lor, doctors have been unable to say the cause of it and is saying he might be just plain unlucky. Hahaha... Funny that the word "unlucky" came out from them.
Brain tumors have no socio-economic boundaries and do not discriminate among gender or ethnicity.
The cure rate for most brain tumors is significantly lower than that for many other types of cancer. ~ Approximately 3years if undergo successful treatments. Estimated 8 sessions. Half to a year if untreated.
Grade - benign or malignant?
Brain tumours are put into groups according to how fast they are likely to grow. There are 4 groups called grades 1-4. The cells are examined under a microscope. The more normal they look, the more slowly the brain tumour is likely to develop and the lower the grade. The more abnormal the cells look, the more quickly the brain tumour is likely to grow and the higher the grade. Low grade gliomas (grade 1 and grade 2) are the slowest growing brain tumours. You may have been told you have a benign tumour or a malignant tumour. As a rule of thumb, low grade tumours are regarded as benign and high grade as malignant.
By benign, we generally mean
· The tumour is relatively slow growing
· It is less likely to come back if it is completely removed
· It is not likely to spread to other parts of the brain or spinal cord
· It may just need surgery and not radiotherapy or chemotherapy as well
By malignant, we generally mean
· The tumour is relatively fast growing
· It is likely to come back after surgery, even if completely removed
· It may spread to other parts of the brain or spinal cord
· It cannot just be treated with surgery and will need radiotherapy or chemotherapy to try to stop it from coming back.
With other types of cancer, these black and white explanations of benign and malignant work well. But with brain tumours, there are a lot of grey areas.
Wow... this is a very long blog....
Sunday, May 21, 2006
BIRTHDAY - SURPRISES
It's the day of the year again. MY DAY. Always thought it's just like any other day, nothing special. BUT, somehow, this year is different! Full of surprises and "kinder bueno"!
1. Had a surprise from office colleagues. They did a joint celebration for me and my other colleague whose bday is 3 days earlier than mine. Boss called both of us in to the meeting room for a discussion (it is actually a cover-up!). After about 3min, he told us that we can open the door liao, we opened and found the office with lights switched off a a birthday cake with lighted candles awaiting! They sang bday song, we cut cake and took pics of us - a very FAT me in pic!
2. Heavenly RETREAT for me. My friend brought me to a SPA! Jacuzzi overseeing the sea...Swedish massage...Felt just like going away on holiday. Ooohoo... BUT, it's expensive!
Just as I thought we were leaving after the tea, but the masseur went and came with a cake! Surprise! Surprise! Surprise! Heehee....
3. Kinder Bueno Surprise! Courier came to office with a bouquet of flowers meant for me. I was wondering whom the sender would be...Opened the card, it's from my giggling gfs! Read the message in the card, and I can't stop myself from smiling ear-to-ear after that. =)
They had also bought a "purse" for me, I felt so touched and guilty of them spending so much...
4. uZAP - I finally got it! I am on my way to slimming down! hopefully...
Had confirmed that I put on 4KG earlier! Waist-hip ratio also almost exceeded the norm. I am really getting FAT. NO! I DUN WAN! I DUN WAN!
5. Celebrated the night at KTV (actually went 3x! Fri night, Sat afternoon & Sat night!) Really touched that so many people came... Got NGB colleagues and AP ex-colleagues. Luckily they'd booked a large room. But, think it's too big liao? Haahaa... AP people bought a wallet for me (after going thru' diffcult choices). I got the same as SW! Hope she don't mind (think she dun mind, as she is present to buy it! Haa...) Think this wallet exceeded their budget, I am so sorry... 真不好意思。。。 I've got a pair of golf shoes too! Hmmm....Wonder when then got chance to wear.... After ktv, went for mj and end up being the big loser (think bec it's passed my day liao?) Haahaa.....But enjoyed the session can liao la, isn't it? It's the process, rather than the result that matters, isn't it? *winks*
I wanna THANK everyone for putting in so much effort to making this day so great and wonderful! THANK YOU so much!
It's the day of the year again. MY DAY. Always thought it's just like any other day, nothing special. BUT, somehow, this year is different! Full of surprises and "kinder bueno"!
1. Had a surprise from office colleagues. They did a joint celebration for me and my other colleague whose bday is 3 days earlier than mine. Boss called both of us in to the meeting room for a discussion (it is actually a cover-up!). After about 3min, he told us that we can open the door liao, we opened and found the office with lights switched off a a birthday cake with lighted candles awaiting! They sang bday song, we cut cake and took pics of us - a very FAT me in pic!
2. Heavenly RETREAT for me. My friend brought me to a SPA! Jacuzzi overseeing the sea...Swedish massage...Felt just like going away on holiday. Ooohoo... BUT, it's expensive!
Just as I thought we were leaving after the tea, but the masseur went and came with a cake! Surprise! Surprise! Surprise! Heehee....
3. Kinder Bueno Surprise! Courier came to office with a bouquet of flowers meant for me. I was wondering whom the sender would be...Opened the card, it's from my giggling gfs! Read the message in the card, and I can't stop myself from smiling ear-to-ear after that. =)
They had also bought a "purse" for me, I felt so touched and guilty of them spending so much...
4. uZAP - I finally got it! I am on my way to slimming down! hopefully...
Had confirmed that I put on 4KG earlier! Waist-hip ratio also almost exceeded the norm. I am really getting FAT. NO! I DUN WAN! I DUN WAN!
5. Celebrated the night at KTV (actually went 3x! Fri night, Sat afternoon & Sat night!) Really touched that so many people came... Got NGB colleagues and AP ex-colleagues. Luckily they'd booked a large room. But, think it's too big liao? Haahaa... AP people bought a wallet for me (after going thru' diffcult choices). I got the same as SW! Hope she don't mind (think she dun mind, as she is present to buy it! Haa...) Think this wallet exceeded their budget, I am so sorry... 真不好意思。。。 I've got a pair of golf shoes too! Hmmm....Wonder when then got chance to wear.... After ktv, went for mj and end up being the big loser (think bec it's passed my day liao?) Haahaa.....But enjoyed the session can liao la, isn't it? It's the process, rather than the result that matters, isn't it? *winks*
I wanna THANK everyone for putting in so much effort to making this day so great and wonderful! THANK YOU so much!
Sunday, April 02, 2006
Sunday, February 19, 2006
NEW JOB - NEW CHALLENGE
Started working liao... Back to I.T. Something I should be familiar with, yet it seems so distant now. Is marketing what I really wanted? Or I am better off doing something else? But what??
It's so stressful....Am I setting too high a standard that I cant breathe yet cant relax fearing cant achieve? I dunno.... I must really do my best. I got nothing to complain, got good bosses, good colleagues, but I feel that I am stagnant. Moving way too slowly. Seems like I am of not much help. I cant let them down. - STRESS
"You cannot plough a field by turning it over your mind." - am I plain turning in my mind then?
Stop thinking so negatively and lowly of myself! Be Positive! Be Positive! Go! Go! Go!
Started working liao... Back to I.T. Something I should be familiar with, yet it seems so distant now. Is marketing what I really wanted? Or I am better off doing something else? But what??
It's so stressful....Am I setting too high a standard that I cant breathe yet cant relax fearing cant achieve? I dunno.... I must really do my best. I got nothing to complain, got good bosses, good colleagues, but I feel that I am stagnant. Moving way too slowly. Seems like I am of not much help. I cant let them down. - STRESS
"You cannot plough a field by turning it over your mind." - am I plain turning in my mind then?
Stop thinking so negatively and lowly of myself! Be Positive! Be Positive! Go! Go! Go!
Sunday, January 01, 2006
2006 ReSoLuTioN
I. SliM DowN!
II. FiNd JOb
III.Be DeCiSive
IV.PEACE
TAURUS.. .. ..Careers and you
[ You are reliable and loyal, easy to get along with and a good team player. You are also practical and grounded, as befits an Earth Sign. You are the Mr-Fix-It of the zodiac. You can be a bit lazy to get going, but once you are up and running, look out! There's a focus and single-mindedness of purpose there that can come in very handy. You can be strong-willed, so it's a good idea for colleagues to lay down the law first - you will follow their lead and work hard. While you do well in business, an artistic streak is also present. More apparent, though, can be your frequent stubborn streaks, which can defeat a lot of hard work. And that temper! It's mercifully swift. If you can keep your focus on the steady accumulation of material goods and an occasional dose of earthy, sensual pleasures, life will be grand. ]
I. SliM DowN!
II. FiNd JOb
III.Be DeCiSive
IV.PEACE
TAURUS.. .. ..Careers and you
[ You are reliable and loyal, easy to get along with and a good team player. You are also practical and grounded, as befits an Earth Sign. You are the Mr-Fix-It of the zodiac. You can be a bit lazy to get going, but once you are up and running, look out! There's a focus and single-mindedness of purpose there that can come in very handy. You can be strong-willed, so it's a good idea for colleagues to lay down the law first - you will follow their lead and work hard. While you do well in business, an artistic streak is also present. More apparent, though, can be your frequent stubborn streaks, which can defeat a lot of hard work. And that temper! It's mercifully swift. If you can keep your focus on the steady accumulation of material goods and an occasional dose of earthy, sensual pleasures, life will be grand. ]
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